Dune - Frank Herbert

I wanted to like Dune, I really truly did.

But I couldn't.

And I am sorry.

I know its considered one of the classics of the science fiction genre, and well loved by millions of loyal fans world wide. I just couldn't bring myself to like it no matter how hard I tried.

No, that's not entirely true. I liked the idea of the plot. The sand worms and spice and links to the environment I thought were beautiful concepts. Its just a shame that my attention was constantly diverted away from that towards a clunky writing style that I had to fight against in order to emerse myself in said world, and lead characters that I had no empathy or intact feelings (beyond irratation) for.

I'm sorry. As a sci-fi fan I hang my head in shame.

Beginning - Part Two

Okay, so apparently sometimes I have the attention span of a gnat. I'm a big enough of a person to admit it. I'm that person that gets sidetracked by the shiney light spot on the wall from the sun radiating through the key hole.

Judge me if you will, I am okay with that.

 So I am going to start this enterprise again. Books-read-review... its in the post below, I'm not going to repeat myself. I will, however, endeavor to back track on the reviews for he books I have read so far this year on my 100 books goal, not just the current ones... hopefully I can redeem myself a little.

Terrible Person

Like the title says, a terrible person - that is what I am. Some times I get so distracted by what is going on around me that I forget to take the time to clear my thoughts. Its an endless cycle really. A full head leads to being more easily distracted which leads to a fuller head.... 

I should know better. I caught myself getting insanely irratable at my customers today. Never a good sign.

Although, in my defense, customers are the bain of every customer service job ever. I am a firm believe that 90 percent of supposed bad customer service stems from bad customer behaviour. But I digress.

 I am moving again. Some times I wonder if I will ever settle down and find a place that I can truly call home. This will be one step closer I think, but still not quite there. The other half has bought the house that he has been living in since uni and has asked me to live with him. In that respect, it is closet to having a 'home' than I have ever been. It is also a situation that is so full of firsts that the excitement is equally balanced with fear. It'll be the first time that I have ever lived with a boyfriend, all be out first house, our first mortgage, our first try at renovations, and out first property towards our goals of property mogul-ship.... I am under no illusions that this is going to be easy.

As a consequense, I think that my head is going to remain relatively full for a while to come. So, I really really need to make a conscious effort here. Everyday until it becomes habit, even if what I have to say is of no importance, it needs to be done.

When Home Isn't Where it Used to be

Most people return to their parents with some form of positive emotion. I sometimes wish that I did. That I could feel joy about the prospect of returning 'home' for a weekend.

But home shouldn't be a place of pressures and failures and short comings. It should be a place of comfort.

This isn't home anymore. I wonder if it ever was.

Beginings

I decided at the end of last year, that in 2014 I would do a reading challenge: 100 books read over the course of the year. This challenge I started doing through the GoodReads website but after finding out that the site had been brought by Amazon, I was leary of leaving my reviews of the completed books on there.

Don't get me wrong, I am still a fan of both Amazon and GoodReads, but I'm still learning. I'm still refining what it means to review something. With a such a large corporate involved, it seemed to increase the need for skill and perfection, and I am not sure I'm ready for that pressure.

So this shall be my practise ground. If nobody reads it, that's fine. If somebody does, that's also fine. At first I'll have to be catching up on the books I have already read this year - I'm already a third of the way through the challenge - but hopefully as I catch up, I'll figure out what I'm doing.

Renewals in the Wake of Rediscovy

After almost three years, one relocation, five houses and two jobs, I rediscovered this blog while clearing out an old, hardly used email account. During a period of frantic activity, it all seemed to slip my mind, and for that I am apologetic. Not that I am deluded enough to believe that anyone out there in the ether either noticed or cared, but now that I am thinking about it, there was something cathartic about truly speaking my mind.

Much can change over the course of three years: people and circumstances are both fluid objects, ebbing and flowing as though with the tides.

Six months after I last posted, the infamous letter of love that had been sent to my then best friend reached its full conclusion. The result was wonderful relationship that is still going strong. There's a lot to be said about breaking down the 'friends zone' barrier, I'm not sure why no people don't do it. By turns, the relationship led in part to me relocating my life south. I sold my furniture, quit my job, packed up my car and traded in the crumbling sights of Christchurch for the sleepy city of Dunedin.

Despite opinion at the time, this move was not solely based on the fledgling relationship, my health was deteriorating. By the time I moved at the end of March 2012, I had not slept a full night through in my own bed in over a year. My doctor was threatening medical aids to that and when combined with the 12+ hour shifts that I was pulling 5 or more days a week, I was not in a good place. Something had to change.

 It wasn't a cure-all, I would be lying if I claimed it to be. Relationships, when dealing with two fiercely independent people, take some getting used to, even without the trials of rewriting your life. The job that I walked into turned out to be a nightmare. It caused more stress and delayed my recovery - my sleep patterns only stared to normalise exit months after the move when I changed jobs once more. And lack of stability led to poor choices and some disastrous attempts at making new friends that left me questioning myself and my confidence.

But that was then.

Now everything is different.  I have a boyfriend who I love to bits and knows me like only a long term friend can; I have a job that I look forward to going to everyday - bakery hours are long and physical, but my workmates are now like a family and my customers like old friends, it makes it all worth while. And the icing on the cake is my best friend moving downhere to join me.

Life is good.

Time

I am sitting here, on the couch, in my lounge, looking out of the open door at the rain falling on the street below. It falls from the deep grey sky and coats and soaks everything - indiscriminately. And though its cold, its not as cold as it should be in May - end of May with only six days left till June....

It seems the year is passing by with little to show for it sometimes. And yet so much has happened.

Exactly three months now since I have slept the night through. Its not the getting to sleep that is the problem - its the staying asleep. And unlike the last time that I had a sleeping problem, I am doing a rather physical job five days of the week. I am starting to feel the strain. You would think that given how tired I am starting to feel that I am up half the night and have plenty of time for hobbies and writing and such. but I only ever wake up for long enough to register that I am awake.

Its just all so disjointed.

Three days off this week though, so time to spend on me. Time to find the track and get back on it once more.