Most people return to their parents with some form of positive emotion. I sometimes wish that I did. That I could feel joy about the prospect of returning 'home' for a weekend.
But home shouldn't be a place of pressures and failures and short comings. It should be a place of comfort.
This isn't home anymore. I wonder if it ever was.
Friday, May 9, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
Beginings
I decided at the end of last year, that in 2014 I would do a reading challenge: 100 books read over the course of the year. This challenge I started doing through the GoodReads website but after finding out that the site had been brought by Amazon, I was leary of leaving my reviews of the completed books on there.
Don't get me wrong, I am still a fan of both Amazon and GoodReads, but I'm still learning. I'm still refining what it means to review something. With a such a large corporate involved, it seemed to increase the need for skill and perfection, and I am not sure I'm ready for that pressure.
So this shall be my practise ground. If nobody reads it, that's fine. If somebody does, that's also fine. At first I'll have to be catching up on the books I have already read this year - I'm already a third of the way through the challenge - but hopefully as I catch up, I'll figure out what I'm doing.
Don't get me wrong, I am still a fan of both Amazon and GoodReads, but I'm still learning. I'm still refining what it means to review something. With a such a large corporate involved, it seemed to increase the need for skill and perfection, and I am not sure I'm ready for that pressure.
So this shall be my practise ground. If nobody reads it, that's fine. If somebody does, that's also fine. At first I'll have to be catching up on the books I have already read this year - I'm already a third of the way through the challenge - but hopefully as I catch up, I'll figure out what I'm doing.
Renewals in the Wake of Rediscovy
After almost three years, one relocation, five houses and two jobs, I rediscovered this blog while clearing out an old, hardly used email account. During a period of frantic activity, it all seemed to slip my mind, and for that I am apologetic. Not that I am deluded enough to believe that anyone out there in the ether either noticed or cared, but now that I am thinking about it, there was something cathartic about truly speaking my mind.
Much can change over the course of three years: people and circumstances are both fluid objects, ebbing and flowing as though with the tides.
Six months after I last posted, the infamous letter of love that had been sent to my then best friend reached its full conclusion. The result was wonderful relationship that is still going strong. There's a lot to be said about breaking down the 'friends zone' barrier, I'm not sure why no people don't do it. By turns, the relationship led in part to me relocating my life south. I sold my furniture, quit my job, packed up my car and traded in the crumbling sights of Christchurch for the sleepy city of Dunedin.
Despite opinion at the time, this move was not solely based on the fledgling relationship, my health was deteriorating. By the time I moved at the end of March 2012, I had not slept a full night through in my own bed in over a year. My doctor was threatening medical aids to that and when combined with the 12+ hour shifts that I was pulling 5 or more days a week, I was not in a good place. Something had to change.
It wasn't a cure-all, I would be lying if I claimed it to be. Relationships, when dealing with two fiercely independent people, take some getting used to, even without the trials of rewriting your life. The job that I walked into turned out to be a nightmare. It caused more stress and delayed my recovery - my sleep patterns only stared to normalise exit months after the move when I changed jobs once more. And lack of stability led to poor choices and some disastrous attempts at making new friends that left me questioning myself and my confidence.
But that was then.
Now everything is different. I have a boyfriend who I love to bits and knows me like only a long term friend can; I have a job that I look forward to going to everyday - bakery hours are long and physical, but my workmates are now like a family and my customers like old friends, it makes it all worth while. And the icing on the cake is my best friend moving downhere to join me.
Life is good.
Much can change over the course of three years: people and circumstances are both fluid objects, ebbing and flowing as though with the tides.
Six months after I last posted, the infamous letter of love that had been sent to my then best friend reached its full conclusion. The result was wonderful relationship that is still going strong. There's a lot to be said about breaking down the 'friends zone' barrier, I'm not sure why no people don't do it. By turns, the relationship led in part to me relocating my life south. I sold my furniture, quit my job, packed up my car and traded in the crumbling sights of Christchurch for the sleepy city of Dunedin.
Despite opinion at the time, this move was not solely based on the fledgling relationship, my health was deteriorating. By the time I moved at the end of March 2012, I had not slept a full night through in my own bed in over a year. My doctor was threatening medical aids to that and when combined with the 12+ hour shifts that I was pulling 5 or more days a week, I was not in a good place. Something had to change.
It wasn't a cure-all, I would be lying if I claimed it to be. Relationships, when dealing with two fiercely independent people, take some getting used to, even without the trials of rewriting your life. The job that I walked into turned out to be a nightmare. It caused more stress and delayed my recovery - my sleep patterns only stared to normalise exit months after the move when I changed jobs once more. And lack of stability led to poor choices and some disastrous attempts at making new friends that left me questioning myself and my confidence.
But that was then.
Now everything is different. I have a boyfriend who I love to bits and knows me like only a long term friend can; I have a job that I look forward to going to everyday - bakery hours are long and physical, but my workmates are now like a family and my customers like old friends, it makes it all worth while. And the icing on the cake is my best friend moving downhere to join me.
Life is good.
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