Finally

It has been a long year, I know that I have said this before but it has been. The repetitive nature of the comment may make me feel better temporarily but it does nothing to change the truth of the comment. This last year - my 23rd year of being - was full of trials. And with my birthday only five days away my thoughts have naturally drifted to the automatic internal reflection that seems to occur every year around this time.

My self esteem - so usually very strong, has taken a huge hammering this year. Failure after failure; rejection after rejection. I have held on, kept at it, and while it hasn't been easy nor without damage, finally it is worth while. Finally there has been a 'yes' in the sea of 'no'.

Finally a job interview has turned into the offer of a job.

And I couldn't be more excited or more relieved. Yes, it is a job that has nothing to do with my degree, but it has to do with my interests so that seems far better. And yes it raises the interesting question of how the hell am I even going to get to that part of town that early in the morning (ignoring the fact that it is in fact that early in the morning and I am really not a morning person), but it'll just put the fire on getting my license which will in turn wipe that goal off the list as done.

Yes, the negatives are easily ignored. They can be worked out - they are relatively simple and inconsequential when they are compared to trying to find a job in the current climate. As long as I keep focused enough not to let myself get bogged down with a need to please and fear of letting people down. But I think that after the first couple of days that feeling will depart.

And so I finally will enter the world of the gainfully employed. I have a feeling that this year is going to be so much better than last.