Ego Boosting

A little boost to the ego never killed anyone. The joy of being praised for a job well done can be a wonderful thing. Especially when it is rare.

I catered a lunch today. My first ever paid catering job. It was nothing fancy, but to greeted by praise and congratulation before the food had even been tasted... it was truly warming. Even more so when the taste matched the looks.

Growing up it seemed that praise was never offered. It may have been and I simply was blind to it, but to me it seemed like every time I achieved something it seemed to get glossed over. It appeared - to me - that family would take the attitude of "well that's great, but now you've done that whats next?" There was never any time to just bask in the glory and satisfaction of a job well done.

To have that gratification, especially from relative strangers... perhaps I feel it more keenly because I am denied it from other sources (or at least my mind is denied it if it is offered and I don't realise it).

Maybe that's why, externally at least, failure doesn't seem to bother me. Regardless of my outward expressions the reactions I receive are no different. Always being met with an eye to future and what else can be done does take some of the gloss off the present.

Hmm, something to ponder on later.

I did have to laugh though. I look like my mother - that is no lie. Two photos of us at the same age and you could easily think it was the same person. Personality wise though, we are opposites, we always have been. Yet people, I have noticed, seem to treat me like I have the same sensibilities. I am not a prude; never have been, never will be. I am nearing (rapidly, though I ignore it) 24, joking talk of sex and strange piercings and naked neighbours is hardly going to shock - especially since I know the conversations I myself have with friends. And yet, in the minds of others....

Ah well, they paid me. Who am I to judge.

With money in the purse, the ego healthily fed, writing goals being met and the heavy constant rain pounding and beating in rhythmic time on the porch roof outside my bedroom window I think I shall sleep well tonight.